Hypomania

Wow, I’ve got some shit done today I thought. I’ve taken all my tablets as prescribed but I’m not even tired yet. If you have read some of my other posts you will know that I keep a pretty rigid schedule, so even though I wasn’t tired I packed myself off to bed at nine.

I cant get this damned song out of my head, the chorus keeps playing on repeat, over and over. Three freaking hours I listened to it before I fell asleep. Only to wake up at two am, needing a drink and a trip to the bathroom. Once I was up, I thought ‘I think I’ve slept enough now and went outside to feel the cool night air. Better keep that schedule I thought again as I bypassed the shortbread cookies on the way back to bed. Three am passed, so did four am then I was out again until the alarm went off at six am.

Up out of bed I got ready for work in record time and then had to pass an hour sitting in the car before the doors to the building even opened. Once inside I saw two days worth of work had been delivered that morning, not only that we were short staffed. Four pm came around and I stopped for a quick five minute break, only the second break for the day. It was all done, two days work complete with an hour to spare. Still that fucking song kept playing all day.

Home and I forced my self to sit down, jumpy legs rattled the couch as I watched TV and waited for the medication to kick in and send me to sleep. Again, it seemed like I’d had a fresh cup of coffee instead. Follow my damn schedule I admonished myself again for the thought of staying up until I felt ready for bed. Nine pm came and I hopped into bed once more, again it was midnight before I slept, and it was around two that I woke up again. I didn’t get up this time and forced myself to lay there. Lay here and will yourself to sleep I thought. It sort of worked I was back asleep in an hour this time. Only this time I had an early start and the alarm sounded at five am.

I was at work for two hours before I had to leave and pick up my daughter who wasn’t feeling well. Now I’m at home, nothing to pour this restless energy into. Sure there is house work that needs attention, yard work too but I can’t seem to get more than a step into each activity before I want to do something different.

There is no answers here, just a hypomanic rant, a ramble perhaps, as I dont even know if the post makes sense.